My Story
Childhood
I was born in South India in 1981 in a small town to an ordinary middle-class family. My father was a government servant and my mother a homemaker. There is nothing special about me or my family.
When I was six years old, I felt a veil lift before my eyes and something descend into me. All of a sudden I knew that the world was totally unreal, that people were simply playing games or pretending to be a this or a that. I knew then that we were all just ordinary human beings and that existentially, nothing more, nothing less.
This feeling continued until I was 17 years old, when I experience a severe trauma-my beloved dog passed away. This experience tore my world apart, as until then I had assumed that I was essentially living in heaven. After I got over my grief, I went looking for a way to understand what had happened-not just to my beloved dog, but to me: I had lost all control over myself and was a mess for a day, at least. I needed answers.
So I went the usual route, talking to my parents, friends and when I received nothing of value, jumped into the only book I had laying about: the Bhagavad Gita, often mistakenly called the Bible of Hinduism (it is no such thing).
While the Gita was useful, far more was given to me in a state of meditation. I completely understand what was happening and why. Moreover, it became clear to me that everyone around me had suffered at some point or another and worse, were still suffering. I knew exactly what I had to do in order to help humanity: eliminate suffering from this planet.
I wished to leave immediately, join a monastic order and start serving, but my mother intervened and convinced me that serving in the world, where people lived and suffered, was a far greater challenge. I accepted her advice and surrendered totally to God.
But God wasn’t interested, because it’s not His job to lead people. He turned me over to the Divine Feminine (what Christians call the Holy Spirit) and I was on my way.
Growing Up
I started receiving spiritual insights immediately. No matter where I went or what I was doing, I was constantly occupied by a presence within me that would lead the way. I would observe things no one else did, but I was almost entirely silent, rarely speaking or sharing, because too much was being given to me spiritually and I hadn’t processed it all.
Of course, at the time I didn’t know that it was the Divine Feminine guiding me. I simply surrendered and didn’t worry about who had taken over. I guess you could say I had faith in a higher power being good to me.
Unfortunately, my world was anything but good. I went through college, graduate school (in the USA, at Indiana University), took various jobs and kept working on people the best I could: by explaining to them that life was more than just whatever they had on their plate at the moment. However, I did not have the vocabulary to really answer people’s questions.
New Mexico
At 33 years of age, I was well-settled in Bloomington, Indiana but I felt a strong pull to make a trip to the desert. I followed the feeling and ended up at White Sands National Monument one night. The next morning I awoke knowing that something was about to happen.
I sat upright on the bare, cold sand, directly facing the sun, which had not yet risen. As soon as the sun broke over the horizon, all hell broke loose within me and I was transported to a place of ecstasy I had never felt before. All existence and then some, was suddenly easy to understand. Everything was clear and I had absolutely no doubts of any kind left. I felt I had the answer to every single question that vexed humanity and I was prepared to give it all up and start serving.
I spent 3 weeks in New Mexico in this state, oblivious to my surroundings and whatever was going on. When I came down, I expected to be sent immediately to serve, but She (the Divine Feminine) had other plans for me.
She sent me right back to working at my job. I was confused, disappointed, but also ecstatic at the same time! I suddenly had all the answers, the vocabulary to express them and made quite an impression on some of my colleagues, one of whom asked “What happened to you in the desert?”
Turmoil soon followed and I was led to writings by Thomas (the Gospel of Thomas), Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj and others, who confirmed that I had gained an understanding few are given. It is at this time that my wife came to me and asked me to marry her! Being in a state of surrender, I could only answer yes.
But married life wasn’t my calling. I fulfilled the role as best as I can, but life soon showed me that I was being drained by it. Desperate to continue fulfilling my role, I went to Sadhguru, who gave me a practice that raised my energy. This worked, but a little too well :)
Immediately I started having very intense and vivid spiritual experiences, with my eyes wide open. Every day, at 11 AM sharp, I would go into an ecstatic state and a part of life would be revealed to me in a way that I cannot put in words easily here (see book). However, the experiences left my body in shambles because of just how much power was being channeled through it on a daily basis. I could barely sleep thanks to the pain and only my practice kept me going, until one fine day I started falling apart.
I had already reached the pinnacle and had seen things few do, but my mind and body started to fall apart and I became very ill. My wife, unable to take my ramblings and my state, left, along with our child. I found myself unable to work and had to delegate. All this came to a head one day, when I collapsed on the floor, unable to move.
I spent three days sleeping in a weird state, unable to wake up or fall fully asleep. On the fourth day, I received a bit of energy and managed to walk a few steps. Then came a period of healing, where I spent hours every day sitting or lying in the hot sun just so I could have enough energy to attend a meeting or eat a morsel of food.
Once I was well enough, the Divine Feminine immediately commanded me to go on a journey across America and learn about the sufferings of young people. So I got on my motorcycle and spent 5 years traveling, speaking to as many people as I could.
The Book Project
I had no idea when I started traveling that I would write a book. All the Divine Feminine said to me was “Go speak to the children”. But I ended up going from Washington, DC all the way to Los Angeles. I went straight to the Santa Monica beach and within 15 minutes, not only did I find an apartment in downtown LA, but also set off to the location and signed a lease on the spot. It was as if all of it was waiting for me. I traveled Southern California and the coast extensively, experience the darkness, the pain and suffering of LA intimately, encountering numberless homeless, mentally ill, drug-addicts and ordinary people enslaved to the system.
During this period, I quit my job and wrote 7 drafts of my book, painstakingly, using a quill pen and parchment paper, with the Divine Feminine forcing me to pay attention to every pen stroke as She moved the pen on my behalf. I healed by writing, pouring out my grief at the pain and suffering I was encountering on a daily basis. Finally, She made me throw all of it away and gave me a period of rest and meditation. At the end of that period, She commanded me one fine morning to move to Tucson. So I did.
Once again, I arrived in Tucson, went straight to the apartment complex I needed to live in, found a place and signed the lease on the spot. I had lost my motorcycle to a crash in LA but I found another motorcycle sitting in a box at the dealership-even the dealer didn’t know they had that bike in stock and put it together once I showed them what I wanted. It was miraculous.
After settling down, the Divine Feminine once again took over and I found myself writing a book, non-stop, every day for 3 weeks with no rest, except for some food and use of the toilet. All night I would receive the words and all day I would spend writing. Immediately, I published the book on Amazon and the Divine Feminine stopped me from marketing it.
The Book
Why did She stop me? Because the book, when finished will place you in a state of total surrender-and this is not recommended for the vast majority of the population. It now serves as a go-to manual for those who wish to work with me. You can read more about it here.
But I still wasn’t done! The Divine Feminine told me to go fulfill a calling I had received many years ago but couldn’t fulfill due to family obligations: to go explore the blue-collar side of America. I got my CDL and went truck-driving for about a year, gaining enormous strength due to the highly physical nature of flatbed trucking, but the fatigue got to me and after a serious accident (even though no one was hurt and there not even a scratch on the truck/trailer), I quit the industry on the command of the Divine Feminine and was ordered to give myself full-time to spiritual work.
This Is It
I am in the last phase of my life, which may continue for a few decades or more but I am now entirely dedicated to the service of humanity through the skills, understanding and wisdom that I have been granted. I am only good at one thing: cleansing your system of all negativity. This I can do without you having to do a single thing: the Divine Feminine does all the work.
While I wish to give away all of my work for free, I cannot until I find someone willing to support me and the work. Until that happens, I must grudgingly charge you a bit of money.
I appreciate you reading my story. Please consider booking a session, spreading the word or helping in whatever you can so we can build a beautiful community in Tucson together.
Thank you.
